Free in mind and body

She sold herself to me.

Well, not sold. She didn't even get any monetary compensation for it. She signed herself over to be my slave.

Poor girl. She was openly sobbing about it right there as they took the fingerprint and DNA swab. To be a slave again, after what horrors she suffered before gaining her freedom... that she was willing to do this speaks of more courage to face her past then I had attributed to her, and that she was willing to rely on me to do this speaks of a deeper trust than I had realised she had for me. Hell, she even offered to wear chains if it was needed - I told her no, under any circunstances; she doesn't need the extra put-down of being chained as well as being a slave - but the awesome trust she has in me to even offer to do that...

But Seraphim is determined to take that Sani Sabik bastard down a notch. The tournament is likely to be the only time she is likely to be out of her quarters to mingle with us "inferiors." And to get into the tournament, Seraphim needs to be a slave.

So she sold herself to me. She's been moping around for past two days, and frankly I'm starting to get worried. Sleeping on the floor because 'that's what slaves do' can't be doing her any good either.

She needs to stop this soon, or she'll be in no place to compete.

And on top of all of this, I've been elected diplomat for our new nullsec wing, which means I spend much of my time dealing with people spewing more doublespeak and generally making my life as difficult as possible than I care to. Frankly, Seraphim is easy to deal with after that; at least I understand where she is coming from.

Seeing the other side

I won't deny that I disagree with the perception that all those who might be part of organizations which claim to oppose the Empire or the Empire's policies are all psychotic monsters hellbent on murdering every believing man, woman and child. I aso don't think that all those poor people should be left to try and feel their way about on their own devices, without any guidance or place to ask questions they might have...








...but lately I am running into an aweful lot of them.





For starters, there's Marius. Crossed paths with him a while back at the Skyhook, and he finally got around to saying Thank You for my saving his sorry corpse. Poor man, I don't even think he considers himself Amarrian anymore... at least when he was just an angry Amarrian, I hoped I could convince him...


But if he is... apathetic about it... I mean, what can one do to make someone care? Get him angry? That would be kind of counterintuitive compared to my final objective.






Then there is Zuzanna Alondra... I keep running into her. Once was fate - the incident with Marius outside the bar - once kind of my fault - I found my way to a Fraction-owned bar where she was; the place turned out to be some sort of filthy "house of pleasures." Nearly a whorehouse, and the girl was drunk... But the last... Well, I can't say it was my fault, since it was deliberate, but I called her up. Wondered how she was doing, but then I asked her about my project. The one with the Insorum. It didn't go so well - she's thoroughly behind the damn fractionists in her views. But I managed to convince her in the end. Just to help.

Why do I feel that is going to come back and bite me in the rear?

Oh, and then there's Zophia... nice young Matari girl, apparently thought it was a good idea to dive into combat in an expensive ship in her first day of combat, in Amarr space no less. Now she's trapped in Amarr until she can get some new money to fix her boat, and is discovering first hand how damn thickheaded our people can be when it comes to Matari...

She does not yet hate us, but every humiliation she experiences - being overcharged for her repairs, being forced to wait last for a place on the transport, they charged looks everyone throws at her - each one brings her closer, makes her angrier... Perhaps I will be able to mitigate this? I do not know...

Finally, there is Seraphim. Poor woman... she's another Amaterasu. Scarred physically by a whip, and scarred emotionally by that and more. She cannot even sleep well without having nightmares of her time; if someone is with her, it helps some...

As I said to her, everyone seems intent on taking what the Empire represents and push it one step further than it should be? One step beyond the law? I wish I knew...

Entrapping the Beast (Re-publish)

[Author's note: Blogspot seems to be having some comp trouble lately. Due to this, two blog posts got posted out of order, one much later than it should have, and a couple other seem to have vanished. Because I'm to damn lazy to rewrite everything (and I want to move on to new stuffs) it's all been compacted down into this one post, which, if everything had been done right, would have been posted on about thr 5th.]

Day C-1

I am sure of it...



I know who killed me. I also know how, and know why.



Her name is Cruenta Orexis. She is a capsuleer nominally in the service of the 24th Imperial Crusade. She is also a member of the Blood Raider Covenant.

The evidence lines up well enough. She can't even keep her own story straight.

And, even as I write this message, I am preparing to take this to the next level. Cruenta is returning from a "vacation in the Federation" - although given her newly revealed allegiances, I am not sure how true that statement is... Anyhow, she will soon be back in Empire space. Once she is there I will offer to assist her on working on defensive complexes...

Here is the tricky part: I need to lead her into a station in the area. One of the forward logistical stations will probably do, but I need to get her to away from a public area. I can bring someone with me who is more skilled in that sort of thing; the point is that once she is alone a quick shot with a hypodermic round or a stun shock will take her out. After that, they only need to stuff her into a container and leave quickly. The cargo scan will only pick up a biomass, and there shouldn't be an issue with a group of slaves "transporting the remain of one of their fallen back to the holy territory of the Empire."

Then I can dig to the bottom of this.

Day C-0

The capture went off easily enough.


Cruenta is currently sleeping; something they put in her food. She's acquiesced to the torture for now... but I doubt it will be that easy. I will have to work on her again tomorrow.

In some ways, I am not sure I can do this. She does not appear to be evil; indeed, in some over her more... agreeable moments, she can be quite agreeable to talk to. But whenever she opens her mouth as a Blooder, the most disgusting filth comes spewing out. I pray that I will be able to break her without causing to much further pain... I do not enjoy tortuing her. I do not enjoy torture in general. But I must break her, and return her as something new.



Bah, I should just say it outright. I am a young man, and she is a young woman... If I had not seen her last strapped screaming to a table, I might be courting her. All at once, I know that I do not and could not ever desire something as twisted as a Blood Raider... yet, a part of my mind continues to tell me that I am not working hr as hard as I could be, because of this one fact. Maybe I will put on of my other interrogators on her. To continue working her until I can come to terms with my actions.



Day C+1

Well, I did it. I put on one of my most trusted associates, and it ended with her going berserk and nearly killing Cruenta, then releasing Cruenta's restraints of all things, only to be tortured by Cruenta herself to the point of falling into a coma. Damn woman couldn't keep her self control in place, and now I have a problem, because Cruenta feels she can still fight... it will slow the process. I already worked her again once earlier; I think I may go do it again...



Oh, Lord... I am enjoying it. The feeling of revenge, of being victorious over the one who caused me such trouble... It is wrong, I know, but.. I cannot say "it feels so good." That is the way to complete hedonism. I will not fall that way.



Day C+2

Work is progressing. I believe I've broken her; now I must rebuild her. This will be easier... it is less... despicable.

What else can be said? Alliance matters are keepping me busy - much planning; to much planning and not enough acting, really.



Day C+3

Things are definitely proceeding. She is coming to accept her new place, slowly... I believe tomorrow I might be able to take her out in public.




Day C+5

I haven't had the heart to post in the last day. Two things went the worst possible ways they could have.

First, a group of slaves... acted out of line yesterday. Closest thing I've had to open rebellion. Took Cruenta from the quarters where she was recovering and took it upon themselves to torture her... they felt she was lying about her abandoning the Blooders.

They were right.

Early today, I allowed Cruenta into a ship of her own to go to Amarr with me... and she flew off right back to her home lands. The Bleak Lands. I had never turned her.




The next time I see her, I will skip the "rebuild into something new" part. I'll just go with breaking her.

Pointing the hounds, Round II

[Author's note: This was written and should have been published around November 27th, but due to an unfortunate loss of internet, it was not then and I forgot to come back to re-publish it until I went to write my next post (coming toon, BTW). ]



So much has gone on since the last time.... Considering what the last record was about, I really do this more often.

We are reforming as an alliance. Not disbanding and rejoining, but completely altering our plans, both present and future.

I feel terrible that we had to abandon our future, bright as it was, especially since this is, in a wierd sort of way, my fault. "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger," they say. I pray we can become stronger through this ordeal. Aside from that, not deploying with the usual combat fleets in Providence is also driving me absolutely insane - you don't realise how much you love the feeling of soaring into combat between the burning lasers, humming railguns, and curiously beautiful explosions until you don't have it anymore.

It really is addictive.

In more galactic matters, the 24th has lost a system. In Amarr territory. I'm no fan of some of the jingoistic bigots in their ranks, but I have begun flying patrols in the area to assist them. Because I think I'd like the jingoistic bigots on the other side even less.

And, to be honest, because it gives myself and the other combat pilots something to shoot at.

But that is not the most important bit... even with all that happening, I haven't called off my quest to find whoever killed me. I have my suspicions, but now I am almost certain that I know who is responsible - an unfortunate little slip-up on the part of someone I was discussing this with, along with some solid witnesses of what I did in the time lost... All I need now is final confirmation. No need to further the perception of Amarrian justice as a "witch hunt" affair, and to be honest I don't want to hurt he- the person in question if I am wrong. I am reluctant to the name here only because this one may also be responsible for the previous... situations. And I don't need my prey to find out the hunter has noticed it.

Minding the past

At 03:00 last night, I woke up in a cloning vat.



A softclone. With absolutely no memory of what I had done that day.



I wonder if this is what it feels like to wake up in after a hard-scan in a substandard clone?





Fortunately, I only lost one day, but constructing what I'd done was still...



Judging from the locations of my ships, I spent some time moving ship around Providence - reconcentrating them at strongpoints.

My wallet indicates I spent some time hunting the Sansha battleships in Providence, and at some point bought some modules for one of my ships.


I also brought some more drones for In Justice Bound - either that, or eight flights of sentries mysteriously appeared in her dronebay.

What happened after that is unclear: I went to the Skyhook, and must have walked out right as Scynnis was walking in - she mailed me asking "who the woman I walked out with was," but I, of course, do not know who it was... I will have to see if she saved my reply. But if I left Skyhook, what happened between then and my quarters in Goram VIII - Moon IV Kaalakiota station, where traces of my blood were found on furniture...

Was it whoever doesn't want me to get the Insorum? Or something relating to my defence of Providence? Had I found something critical in the Skyhook that night, or am I missing the point completely...


I do hope Scynnis saved that reply. It may be the only lead I have.

All ahead full

So much has happened, so long since I last recorded here...

Eh, where to start?

How 'bout with the good: Amaterasu is back. Dunno who recovered her, but she's coherent enough to talk and hold a meaningful conversation. Suppose when you are talking about coming out of a Blooder camp, that's coming out two steps ahead.

It did destroy everything I'd worked toward, though. Everything...

Then there was the HED raid. Getting bored of constantly being on the defensive, we made an unusual large-scale raid into the triple-A chokepoint of HED-GP. We fully expected to have to deal with hostile Titans - there are no less than four Titan-class vessels in that system, dedicated purely to defending it - and sure enough, after the first few haulers went down an Avatar-class warped in at range and fired its 'Judgement' weapon.

Here's where things get fun: -A- had attempted to drag us off the gate using a battleship at range as bait, so we could not jump through. The volume of fire, however, forced the battleship pilot to warp off sooner than he had expected, and so when the Avatar warped in, all but the lightest ships were still on the gate. We simply jumped through, avoiding the doomsday device, and then quickly returned - in time to join the battle against the -A- subcapital fleet warping in on the gate. The hostile fleet, however, had evidently been put together with the idea that we would have lost several core ships and those remaining would have taken severe damage from the doomsday - not so. Our logistics were running, 'dictors dropping bubbles, and the battle quickly turned in our favor. Spoils weren't bad, but the real prize was the pride we could take in this victory.

Going on, In Justice Bound is finally fully operational. I know, the launch celebration was so many weeks ago, but it was missing many critical items - three full flights of fighters, capital-class remote repair systems, assorted back-up and secondary drones - that it could only be used for long-range support.

And then there is Star Fraction. Apparently the 24th and associated corps have finally gotten tired of SF fighting them, and have handed out a series of large-scale defeats to the Fraction, including an unusually high number of capital kills. The latest one was no different, although the total loss values were a little closer thanks to a suprising number of previously-neutral reinforcements showing up to engage the 24th. I won't claim I'm a fan of this silly little "war," but the sooner SF is ripped to shreds and their pilots scattered among the stars, the better.

Now, the bad...

The Ordo Magna is apparently seeing some internal troubles - one of its members fell the vices of heresy, and now they are on a massive internal witch-hunt. I would warn them about the dangers of such a hunt - God knows, I've seen what it can lead to - but I doubt my voice would be taken with much consideration. I, after all, am an outsider. It still seems sad, however, to see such good people torn apart by one man's vices.

Then I went to the Skyhook to try and relax, and got there in time to see Ms. Ciarente Roth go through a nervous breakdown as Vikarion arrived to return one of her previous bodies he had recovered - while inside that body. Poor woman didn't take it to well, seemed to think that because the body was still capable of supporting life (and thus not 'dead') it was actually her, and the body she currently inhabited was... I don't know, not her?

I did get to meet a nice woman named Cruenta in the 24th - I asked her about the big fight, but she had apparently literally just joined, and hadn't even been around for the battle.


Other than all that, what can I say? My wallet is full, my ships are ready, and the fights keep coming. There is nothing else I can do but keep on working...

No stone unturned

Around four hours after my last log, I recieved confirmation that they had indeed arrived in NOL-M9, although actual entry into Blood Raider territory had been delayed by a temporary lack of active light transports, due to a recent conflicts in the area.

So, they finally got there, and...
Oh, what in God's name did I expect? A giant "Hi searchers, Izanami THIS way!" sign? An easily detectable path of ships signed in her name? Hell, is Izanami even her real name?
Anyway, they've found basically nothing so far. Or rather, they've found so much that its impossible to tell where she is; the whole place is riddled with deadspace production complexes, dark temples, and blood farms. She could be anywhere.

Oh, and did I mention that two of the six are completely out of action? One of the former blooders decided to attack on of the others an attempt to get Vitoc so he could flee... He broke quite a few bones before he was restrained. So now I've got one man who had to be sent back to Goon territory to recover, and the other I have half a mind to order killed immediately.
However, I still need these men. Every day, every hour we do not find another hint of Amaterasu is another day that she does through unimaginable torture. I pray she will be totally alive, let alone sane, when we find her.

So I sent three more men to join those already in Blooder territory, and another three who'll meet with the injured man and then begin a search of Goon space when he recovers - there's always a chance she's hiding in the outskirts rather than the fortress...

Finally, myself. HIMS Predator is fitted and ready, having already proved herself in combat twice. I haven't heard from Hitome or Aldrith, so I'm not sure if and when they will be moving.

One other thing has been troubling me - ever since I was diverted off my quest for Vitoc by this little escapade, the attacks on my property have ceased. Are they unaware that it is still an objective of mine? Or have I inadvertantly rooted out the agent and sent him or her to Delve?