Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Why, indeed. I don’t believe I can really answer the full extent of that question – why do we exist in the universe, and all that – so I’ll settle for answering why I am writing this.

I’m writing it because I am afraid.

For a while there, I was slipping into the aura of invincibility. I was a podder, an angel of God, invincible to mortal weapons.

And then the shit hit the fan in a whole bunch of places. First, there was an article on the IGS about some guy who was killed as he was resurrecting following a podding – and a computer virus somehow destroyed his remaining backup clones.

That was the end of that poor fool.

Then there’s that Caldari Merc – Reimei something-or-other. Every few days, he seems to manage to find a new way to get himself practically killed outside of the pod. One day, he ended up with a beam through his chest, just yesterday he had managed to get himself in a fight with someone, or something, that nearly ripped a rib straight out of him.

Seeing someone’s rib sticking out of their chest – while they are alive, no less – is a dramatic lesson. It suddenly occurred to me again that I was still mortal – hard to kill, yes, but still mortal. And suddenly I was afraid.

Listen to that – a seasoned capsuleer, veteran of hundreds of fights, with the blood of likely millions on my hands, afraid of death. It seems… incorrect, somehow.

But the fact remains. So, I started these personal logs, on the basis that if I ever did manage to get myself perma-killed, my trusted others would be able to look in here and see what I had been up to.

Shit. Sleepers are back again.