Seeing the other side

I won't deny that I disagree with the perception that all those who might be part of organizations which claim to oppose the Empire or the Empire's policies are all psychotic monsters hellbent on murdering every believing man, woman and child. I aso don't think that all those poor people should be left to try and feel their way about on their own devices, without any guidance or place to ask questions they might have...








...but lately I am running into an aweful lot of them.





For starters, there's Marius. Crossed paths with him a while back at the Skyhook, and he finally got around to saying Thank You for my saving his sorry corpse. Poor man, I don't even think he considers himself Amarrian anymore... at least when he was just an angry Amarrian, I hoped I could convince him...


But if he is... apathetic about it... I mean, what can one do to make someone care? Get him angry? That would be kind of counterintuitive compared to my final objective.






Then there is Zuzanna Alondra... I keep running into her. Once was fate - the incident with Marius outside the bar - once kind of my fault - I found my way to a Fraction-owned bar where she was; the place turned out to be some sort of filthy "house of pleasures." Nearly a whorehouse, and the girl was drunk... But the last... Well, I can't say it was my fault, since it was deliberate, but I called her up. Wondered how she was doing, but then I asked her about my project. The one with the Insorum. It didn't go so well - she's thoroughly behind the damn fractionists in her views. But I managed to convince her in the end. Just to help.

Why do I feel that is going to come back and bite me in the rear?

Oh, and then there's Zophia... nice young Matari girl, apparently thought it was a good idea to dive into combat in an expensive ship in her first day of combat, in Amarr space no less. Now she's trapped in Amarr until she can get some new money to fix her boat, and is discovering first hand how damn thickheaded our people can be when it comes to Matari...

She does not yet hate us, but every humiliation she experiences - being overcharged for her repairs, being forced to wait last for a place on the transport, they charged looks everyone throws at her - each one brings her closer, makes her angrier... Perhaps I will be able to mitigate this? I do not know...

Finally, there is Seraphim. Poor woman... she's another Amaterasu. Scarred physically by a whip, and scarred emotionally by that and more. She cannot even sleep well without having nightmares of her time; if someone is with her, it helps some...

As I said to her, everyone seems intent on taking what the Empire represents and push it one step further than it should be? One step beyond the law? I wish I knew...

Entrapping the Beast (Re-publish)

[Author's note: Blogspot seems to be having some comp trouble lately. Due to this, two blog posts got posted out of order, one much later than it should have, and a couple other seem to have vanished. Because I'm to damn lazy to rewrite everything (and I want to move on to new stuffs) it's all been compacted down into this one post, which, if everything had been done right, would have been posted on about thr 5th.]

Day C-1

I am sure of it...



I know who killed me. I also know how, and know why.



Her name is Cruenta Orexis. She is a capsuleer nominally in the service of the 24th Imperial Crusade. She is also a member of the Blood Raider Covenant.

The evidence lines up well enough. She can't even keep her own story straight.

And, even as I write this message, I am preparing to take this to the next level. Cruenta is returning from a "vacation in the Federation" - although given her newly revealed allegiances, I am not sure how true that statement is... Anyhow, she will soon be back in Empire space. Once she is there I will offer to assist her on working on defensive complexes...

Here is the tricky part: I need to lead her into a station in the area. One of the forward logistical stations will probably do, but I need to get her to away from a public area. I can bring someone with me who is more skilled in that sort of thing; the point is that once she is alone a quick shot with a hypodermic round or a stun shock will take her out. After that, they only need to stuff her into a container and leave quickly. The cargo scan will only pick up a biomass, and there shouldn't be an issue with a group of slaves "transporting the remain of one of their fallen back to the holy territory of the Empire."

Then I can dig to the bottom of this.

Day C-0

The capture went off easily enough.


Cruenta is currently sleeping; something they put in her food. She's acquiesced to the torture for now... but I doubt it will be that easy. I will have to work on her again tomorrow.

In some ways, I am not sure I can do this. She does not appear to be evil; indeed, in some over her more... agreeable moments, she can be quite agreeable to talk to. But whenever she opens her mouth as a Blooder, the most disgusting filth comes spewing out. I pray that I will be able to break her without causing to much further pain... I do not enjoy tortuing her. I do not enjoy torture in general. But I must break her, and return her as something new.



Bah, I should just say it outright. I am a young man, and she is a young woman... If I had not seen her last strapped screaming to a table, I might be courting her. All at once, I know that I do not and could not ever desire something as twisted as a Blood Raider... yet, a part of my mind continues to tell me that I am not working hr as hard as I could be, because of this one fact. Maybe I will put on of my other interrogators on her. To continue working her until I can come to terms with my actions.



Day C+1

Well, I did it. I put on one of my most trusted associates, and it ended with her going berserk and nearly killing Cruenta, then releasing Cruenta's restraints of all things, only to be tortured by Cruenta herself to the point of falling into a coma. Damn woman couldn't keep her self control in place, and now I have a problem, because Cruenta feels she can still fight... it will slow the process. I already worked her again once earlier; I think I may go do it again...



Oh, Lord... I am enjoying it. The feeling of revenge, of being victorious over the one who caused me such trouble... It is wrong, I know, but.. I cannot say "it feels so good." That is the way to complete hedonism. I will not fall that way.



Day C+2

Work is progressing. I believe I've broken her; now I must rebuild her. This will be easier... it is less... despicable.

What else can be said? Alliance matters are keepping me busy - much planning; to much planning and not enough acting, really.



Day C+3

Things are definitely proceeding. She is coming to accept her new place, slowly... I believe tomorrow I might be able to take her out in public.




Day C+5

I haven't had the heart to post in the last day. Two things went the worst possible ways they could have.

First, a group of slaves... acted out of line yesterday. Closest thing I've had to open rebellion. Took Cruenta from the quarters where she was recovering and took it upon themselves to torture her... they felt she was lying about her abandoning the Blooders.

They were right.

Early today, I allowed Cruenta into a ship of her own to go to Amarr with me... and she flew off right back to her home lands. The Bleak Lands. I had never turned her.




The next time I see her, I will skip the "rebuild into something new" part. I'll just go with breaking her.

Pointing the hounds, Round II

[Author's note: This was written and should have been published around November 27th, but due to an unfortunate loss of internet, it was not then and I forgot to come back to re-publish it until I went to write my next post (coming toon, BTW). ]



So much has gone on since the last time.... Considering what the last record was about, I really do this more often.

We are reforming as an alliance. Not disbanding and rejoining, but completely altering our plans, both present and future.

I feel terrible that we had to abandon our future, bright as it was, especially since this is, in a wierd sort of way, my fault. "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger," they say. I pray we can become stronger through this ordeal. Aside from that, not deploying with the usual combat fleets in Providence is also driving me absolutely insane - you don't realise how much you love the feeling of soaring into combat between the burning lasers, humming railguns, and curiously beautiful explosions until you don't have it anymore.

It really is addictive.

In more galactic matters, the 24th has lost a system. In Amarr territory. I'm no fan of some of the jingoistic bigots in their ranks, but I have begun flying patrols in the area to assist them. Because I think I'd like the jingoistic bigots on the other side even less.

And, to be honest, because it gives myself and the other combat pilots something to shoot at.

But that is not the most important bit... even with all that happening, I haven't called off my quest to find whoever killed me. I have my suspicions, but now I am almost certain that I know who is responsible - an unfortunate little slip-up on the part of someone I was discussing this with, along with some solid witnesses of what I did in the time lost... All I need now is final confirmation. No need to further the perception of Amarrian justice as a "witch hunt" affair, and to be honest I don't want to hurt he- the person in question if I am wrong. I am reluctant to the name here only because this one may also be responsible for the previous... situations. And I don't need my prey to find out the hunter has noticed it.

Minding the past

At 03:00 last night, I woke up in a cloning vat.



A softclone. With absolutely no memory of what I had done that day.



I wonder if this is what it feels like to wake up in after a hard-scan in a substandard clone?





Fortunately, I only lost one day, but constructing what I'd done was still...



Judging from the locations of my ships, I spent some time moving ship around Providence - reconcentrating them at strongpoints.

My wallet indicates I spent some time hunting the Sansha battleships in Providence, and at some point bought some modules for one of my ships.


I also brought some more drones for In Justice Bound - either that, or eight flights of sentries mysteriously appeared in her dronebay.

What happened after that is unclear: I went to the Skyhook, and must have walked out right as Scynnis was walking in - she mailed me asking "who the woman I walked out with was," but I, of course, do not know who it was... I will have to see if she saved my reply. But if I left Skyhook, what happened between then and my quarters in Goram VIII - Moon IV Kaalakiota station, where traces of my blood were found on furniture...

Was it whoever doesn't want me to get the Insorum? Or something relating to my defence of Providence? Had I found something critical in the Skyhook that night, or am I missing the point completely...


I do hope Scynnis saved that reply. It may be the only lead I have.

All ahead full

So much has happened, so long since I last recorded here...

Eh, where to start?

How 'bout with the good: Amaterasu is back. Dunno who recovered her, but she's coherent enough to talk and hold a meaningful conversation. Suppose when you are talking about coming out of a Blooder camp, that's coming out two steps ahead.

It did destroy everything I'd worked toward, though. Everything...

Then there was the HED raid. Getting bored of constantly being on the defensive, we made an unusual large-scale raid into the triple-A chokepoint of HED-GP. We fully expected to have to deal with hostile Titans - there are no less than four Titan-class vessels in that system, dedicated purely to defending it - and sure enough, after the first few haulers went down an Avatar-class warped in at range and fired its 'Judgement' weapon.

Here's where things get fun: -A- had attempted to drag us off the gate using a battleship at range as bait, so we could not jump through. The volume of fire, however, forced the battleship pilot to warp off sooner than he had expected, and so when the Avatar warped in, all but the lightest ships were still on the gate. We simply jumped through, avoiding the doomsday device, and then quickly returned - in time to join the battle against the -A- subcapital fleet warping in on the gate. The hostile fleet, however, had evidently been put together with the idea that we would have lost several core ships and those remaining would have taken severe damage from the doomsday - not so. Our logistics were running, 'dictors dropping bubbles, and the battle quickly turned in our favor. Spoils weren't bad, but the real prize was the pride we could take in this victory.

Going on, In Justice Bound is finally fully operational. I know, the launch celebration was so many weeks ago, but it was missing many critical items - three full flights of fighters, capital-class remote repair systems, assorted back-up and secondary drones - that it could only be used for long-range support.

And then there is Star Fraction. Apparently the 24th and associated corps have finally gotten tired of SF fighting them, and have handed out a series of large-scale defeats to the Fraction, including an unusually high number of capital kills. The latest one was no different, although the total loss values were a little closer thanks to a suprising number of previously-neutral reinforcements showing up to engage the 24th. I won't claim I'm a fan of this silly little "war," but the sooner SF is ripped to shreds and their pilots scattered among the stars, the better.

Now, the bad...

The Ordo Magna is apparently seeing some internal troubles - one of its members fell the vices of heresy, and now they are on a massive internal witch-hunt. I would warn them about the dangers of such a hunt - God knows, I've seen what it can lead to - but I doubt my voice would be taken with much consideration. I, after all, am an outsider. It still seems sad, however, to see such good people torn apart by one man's vices.

Then I went to the Skyhook to try and relax, and got there in time to see Ms. Ciarente Roth go through a nervous breakdown as Vikarion arrived to return one of her previous bodies he had recovered - while inside that body. Poor woman didn't take it to well, seemed to think that because the body was still capable of supporting life (and thus not 'dead') it was actually her, and the body she currently inhabited was... I don't know, not her?

I did get to meet a nice woman named Cruenta in the 24th - I asked her about the big fight, but she had apparently literally just joined, and hadn't even been around for the battle.


Other than all that, what can I say? My wallet is full, my ships are ready, and the fights keep coming. There is nothing else I can do but keep on working...

No stone unturned

Around four hours after my last log, I recieved confirmation that they had indeed arrived in NOL-M9, although actual entry into Blood Raider territory had been delayed by a temporary lack of active light transports, due to a recent conflicts in the area.

So, they finally got there, and...
Oh, what in God's name did I expect? A giant "Hi searchers, Izanami THIS way!" sign? An easily detectable path of ships signed in her name? Hell, is Izanami even her real name?
Anyway, they've found basically nothing so far. Or rather, they've found so much that its impossible to tell where she is; the whole place is riddled with deadspace production complexes, dark temples, and blood farms. She could be anywhere.

Oh, and did I mention that two of the six are completely out of action? One of the former blooders decided to attack on of the others an attempt to get Vitoc so he could flee... He broke quite a few bones before he was restrained. So now I've got one man who had to be sent back to Goon territory to recover, and the other I have half a mind to order killed immediately.
However, I still need these men. Every day, every hour we do not find another hint of Amaterasu is another day that she does through unimaginable torture. I pray she will be totally alive, let alone sane, when we find her.

So I sent three more men to join those already in Blooder territory, and another three who'll meet with the injured man and then begin a search of Goon space when he recovers - there's always a chance she's hiding in the outskirts rather than the fortress...

Finally, myself. HIMS Predator is fitted and ready, having already proved herself in combat twice. I haven't heard from Hitome or Aldrith, so I'm not sure if and when they will be moving.

One other thing has been troubling me - ever since I was diverted off my quest for Vitoc by this little escapade, the attacks on my property have ceased. Are they unaware that it is still an objective of mine? Or have I inadvertantly rooted out the agent and sent him or her to Delve?

Pointing the hounds

Delve is... well, easier than I had thought.

Of course, I have absolutely no fucking right to say that myself, seeing as how I am actually deploying tomorrow.

Accessing system file:
Memo: Experience in Delve
To: All slave section leaders
Please ask all those in your sections if they have any experience with the Delve region.
Experience with combat operations preferred. Forward results to my NeoCom.
Esna

Well, aren't I lucky. No less than six slaves respond - two turret gunners formerly employed by Band of Brothers, a clone technician who quit after Goonswarm forcibly relocated him to Delve, and... and three Sani Sabik who ventured into Imperial space and were caught by the MIO. I'm extremely hesitent about sending these poor men and women in, especially with the last lot - one of them shows signs of being turned back to God, but the other two... they're just smart enough not to make their views widely know, at least among the more religious staff. Giving all their vitoc doses the other three seemed to be the safest bet - they try anything, they die a painful death. Point of Vitoc, I guess.

But I have no option. I need information, lest I go blindly charging into a fool's mission. So off they went. They should be arriving in the legendary NOL-M9 in about three hours, after which they will break off and purchase a shuttle ride into Sani Sabik territory.

Where they will begin reporting back to me.






When I do go, I will have at least two compatriots - Hitome Kei, and surprisingly, Aldrith Shutaq.

Aldrith... I pity him. The befate that befell him is something no one deserves - to be tricked into betraying his friends by the Betrayer incarnate. She will burn for the pain she has caused.

Failure

Well, she had me fucking fooled.


Let me run back a bit: I've been putting off thinking about this, because frankly, I don't want to think about it. About the collosal failure of myself, my friends, everyone..









Amaterasu has been captured.
It's funny. Only a few weeks ago she moved in to Ghost Festival, an angel finally spreading its wings.
Took some investigation, and a lot of guesswork, to figure out what was going on. Eventually, I overhear Verone, Reimei, Morwen, and some guy from Ghost Festival discussing it. Thank God for less-than-obvious robes - I was able to get within hearing range and, surprise, guess who decided to take Ama?
Izanami Mikoto I. Guess I should have warned her off trying to reclaim Ama a bit more forcefully, huh?
Anyway, its not looking good. Izanami has been hiding out somewhere, apparently torturing Ama. (So much for the kind, if strict, old lady persona.) I've been catching a few references to Delve, which means that they think she's thigh deep in Blooder stuff.

Fucking great. I'll need a covops frigate or force-recon cruiser if I'm headed out that way - no damn way I'm going to just slip in if they can see me.

Or a carrier. Maybe we can slip into one of the bits that isn't cynojammed, cloak up, and get a base of operations running there.
I'd like to drop a fucking carrier on Izanami's head. And the rest of her damned corpse.

And make no mistake, I am going to come down on Izanami's head, even if I have to track down, probe out, and tackle her myself. She may hide behind her false persona, and her... allies may break their oaths, but I am not going to. I am not going to abandon Amaterasu.

Shifting

I have just passed the golden oportunity.

Bit of story here - seems Reppy, that wayward little Khanid, has a mother. A mother, as it is, who is apparently highly religious. So, long story short, she had come to The Last Gate, looking for Reppy. And guess who else decided to walk in - that damned traitor, Marius. "Lord" Maximullis. Well, after the local color drove her out, Marius apparently decided to follow her out and pick a fight with her.

In a typical display of his nature, Marius tried to pull a gun on her, despite the presence of several well-trained bodyguards. They were a tad faster, and when I got out there in response to the shooting, Marius was lying in a pool of blood. Even so, I nearly had to shoot the bastard again to keep him from trying to kill her guards.

About the time Reppy's mother - Rara? Cara? I've forgotten her name in all of this - left, one of Marius' little compatriots showed up. Zuzanna, a little Intaki girl...

And then I passed the opportunity. When I should have fired my sidearm until it was dry, watched the flesh boil off of Marius' skull and his neurons burn into nothingness, when I should have killed him...

When Zuzanna asked... I helped him. Lugged his damned body into the Gate, out of the Gate, into Seriphyn Inhonores' ship, where they managed to get a hardscan on him.

And I don't know fucking why. That, along with the possibility of making a "deal" with Ghost Festival..
Am I slowly falling away from God's path? Am I becoming like the others that have left the Empire's cause? Is this something that dooms all Amarrian podders?

I will not be falling willingly, that is sure. I will consider all my actions, and make sure that they are all good for the Empire's - and the Amarr peoples' - cause... make sure that there is no other way. And I must retain self-control... not allow myself to be swayed by begging girls when there is such an opportunity available.



I do pity Zuzanna, though. I've tallked with her, and she isn't evil or Amarr-hating. That she has fallen in with Marius is unfortunate - he is clearly affecting her.





SYS_EDIT//DOC_EXTENTION;

Still no contact from Ciarente. I am now certain that my request has failed. I suppose I will have to find a PRETA contact within the next couple of days.

Forcing the hand

Well, they finally got to me.



Was on a regular patrol in Providence, and had been running fine all day. After a brief break to reload and refuel, I returned to patrol.



I didn't notice that all external communications had ceased to function. That I wasn't recieving any incoming comms. Including the intelligence channels.



So I didn't know about the large Triumvirate fleet waiting dead ahead.



A new ship, gone. A new clone, inhabited.


I checked later on. Subsace comm relays had ceased to function several minutes beforehand. However, self diagnostics reported that they were functioning. Which means someone was fooling with it.





Whoever this is intends to force my hand. To push me to the point where getting this Insorum would be to great a cost.

I'm not going to let them. Oh, yes, they've forced my hand, but not in the way they expect. Electus Matari has not responded, and I am not going to give this up. I am going to be forced to find another source.

Aside from the Matari, there are only handful of others I know of who might have Insorum. The Jove aren't going to respond to me. The Elders, really the Republic... they would never trust me. Or would demand far to much to gain that trust.

That leaves criminals. Not a group I favor dealing with, except to enforce the law. But then, we are capsuleers, a law unto ourselves.
The Cartel would be my next option. They are the only others who might have a sample of Insorum... and be willing to deal with me.
A few more days, and then I'll have to make a choice I really don't think I'm ready to make.

Obstructions

Someone doesn't look favorably on my actions.

Got a report today that there was an attempt to ruin a good portion of my stored assets - during a routine inventory check it was discovered that a large cache of battleship-class antimatter hybrid rounds I had stored on site had mysteriously been set to active-load settings. That is, not only had the shells been primed for insertion into the turrets' loading mechanisms, but the they had also been set specifically to respond as if they had been loaded into a blaster - that is, the next time a signal reached the shell rack's system - say, from an automated inventory scanner - the shells would have responded by disgorging their load of antimatter into whatever, so that it could be processed and fired by the blaster.
Except in this case, the antimatter would have met atmosphere, and the anhiallation would probably have eventually breached all, oh, ten thousand shells I had stored.

That's a lot of antimatter. Not enough to blow the station apart, but enough to melt or badly irradiate a good portion of what I've got stored at that station. Thank God for automated pre-inventory diagnostics.

Anyhow, to do this requires a fair bit of tinkering, which means experience with shell rack systems. This also means that someone had to override the door locks to gain access to the secured hangar where all of my ammunition is stored. And finally, it also means someone who knew enough to tinker with the station's own systems, because otherwise there would have been an immediate lockdown of the area while someone went in and disabled the shells.


Which means I'm either dealing with one very, very knowledgable enemy, or a lot of very angry enemies. Not sure which I prefer more.

Which

Non-progress

It's about time my luck caught up with me.

Nothing this week is going the way I wanted it to.

First, there's been no progress on the acquiring of Insorum. I know Ciarente said she might not be able to produce results, but at least she could tell me if her requests were denied?
I'm not liking my other options, either way.

Second, I drifted into the Basilica again, and met a quite worried Aldrith. I hope nothing I said to his lady-friend worried her to much - last thing I need is her death on my consciounce. Or what's left of it, anyway.

And third, someone tried to kill me.
Yeah, yeah. I get shot at every day. I get blown up every month, and am podded every couple of months. But it's still not every day that someone goes into the single station where I am staying, attempts to hack into the station's mainframe, reverse the air ventilation system to the specific hab-block I am staying in, and deposit an aerosol neurotoxin into the reversed airflow.
She didn't get me. She got four of my security men, and the doctors say likely five before the week is out. She also wounded - *The rustling of papers can be heard in the background.* - nine station security personel with a projectile weapon, and attempted to shoot herself before being stunned and arrested. Bitch didn't want to go down.

So, I've got no progress on my projects, a possible Khanid woman worried sick over something I said, and a Verokhior who wants my neurons to stop pulsing. Permanently.

Great couple of days, huh?

Dead (wo)man walking

One, I'm in a new clone. This did give me a chance to get into a clone that had a... er... addition in it - a little something designed to prevent me from giving up anything if I were ever taken.

Taken. Captured.

Then a wierd bit of the past crawled out to meet me the other day.

Let me restart from the beginning - our pointless little war with some other capsuleer corporation has come to an end. While doing a replenishment run to Amarr for all those things that are used up in the course of a war. I've been hearing of something called a Basilica in some Amarr circles, so I took a shuttle down to Oris and found the place - it's a rather impressive complex, complete with a chapel, reading alcoves, and even a small juice bar.

Of course, it's always the people who are more interesting than the place. In addition to several members of PIE. hanging around the place - thank the Lord I didn't end up talking to one of them, I'd probably end up being thrown out of the place - I got a partial tour of the place by a pilot with the I.D. Letheeth Kayl, who I later found to be member of CVA. She got called out for some operation, so I just wandered around for bit, and the only person not already involved in a conversation was a Khanid woman... named Izanami Mikoto.

Izanami Mikoto I, actually. Her daughter was that nutjob who tried to yank Amaterasu from the Gate that first night I met her.

Daughter must have taken after her husband, because she is much, well, smarter. Rather more conservative in her beliefs than I, but then I haven't had my husband and daughter killed by pirates.

Anyhow, I let is slip talking to Aldrith Shutaq in the Basilica that I knew Amaterasu. He knew, of course, but she didn't.

So I sent her a personal communication, from W-space no less (hey, guess where I'm stationed now?) and found out that she already knew about her husband and daughters' fates, and that she is worried Amaterasu will turn into some kind of monster.

I'm a bit confused as well, to tell the truth - Ghost Festival was an odd choice indeed for Amaterasu - but I didn't let it show.

She doesn't deserve to die trying some half-assed plan to get Amaterasu back. So I told her that I couldn't see Ama turning into a monster, that she could never inflict the pain on others that she has had poured onto her - which was true - and that I doubted she would be affected by the people she is around - which I'm not to sure about.

One last thing - I gave a passing mention to Sabikannen when I first opened the comms channel. Said that it is resulting in my workload is heavy. She assumed I meant I was trying to stop the sacrifices - which I really should get around to trying to do - so I guess she doesn't share her husband's leanings.

Or she's got me fooled, in which case I am going to be quite angry.

Progress

It went better than I had expected. Not only was Ciarente willing to listen to my request, she stated that she would pass on the request to "Mr. Desher and Dr. Char." Dr. Char must mean Evanda Char - I don't believe I've had the chance to speak to her in more than passing, so no clue on how she will react. "Mr. Desher" is a complete unknown to me.

Two things concern me, however. One is the highly probable likelyhood that I will have to... prove myself somehow. I'd told Ciarente about my opinions regarding slavery... so they may demand I do something beyond releasing those who I've already stated I would allow to leave anyhow.

But what? I will not betray the Empire in any way - flawed as some of its leaders may be, it is still the Amarr Empire.

Maybe they would accept my assistance in tracking down rogue slavers? Certainly I could pull those networks apart to allow them to strike at the rotten core...

I will have to think of something later. When I find out how my request has been recieved.



Oddly, it is the second thing that troubles me more than the first, despite it being the smaller of the issues at the moment.

I lied to Ciarente.

I told her that I allow my slaves to leave any time they choose. But the battle-slaves...

Former Blooders, Angels, freedom fighters unlucky enough to be captured, even the odd Guristas agent or two, rabble of this and that... they were caught in the Empire, breaking the Empire's laws. Violently. I try my best to make them realise what they have done, but... they cannot be allowed to leave at any time. What would they do - all they know is crime and slavery, and they must support themselves somehow. To allow them the option of freedom at any time would be beyond stupid. It would be criminal on my own part, to place such a danger on others.

If Ciarente and her comrade find them without my knowing... it could be disasterous. Would be disasterous. Not only to my personal quest, but to the peace calls I've been sounding for years.

Dealing with a (not-at-all) devil

The irony might make me collapse laughing, if it weren't for the fact it is happening to me, and it really isn't quite funny at all.

The issue is as follows: I want to do something about the significant fraction of my slave population that is infected with the Vitoxin. Something else than Vitoc injections - all that does is make them feel relyant on me more, which, despite what I have heard some people say, is not what I want my slaves to do. I want them to look up to me, as a leader, even (one might say) a father figure.

The Vitoxin is another barrier in that way. So I need to get rid of it.

Unfortunately, there's only one way to do that: Insorum, that mysterious, magical substance that approaches near-mythical status for the freedom fighters. Partially, because it's one of the few things they have that the Amarrians don't.

Which means I have to go through them to find a sample. The only ones willing to deal with me - and, really, the only ones I'm willing to deal with - are Electus Matari. And one of the few people I know among their ranks is one Ciarente Roth.

Yes. That Ciarente Roth. The one I so upset some days ago. I hope she's forgiven me enough to be willing to talk to me...

Cause and Effect

Well... been a hell of a few days.

I started it off by going to the Gate and getting myself drunk. I mean, raging, not-knowing-at-all-what-I'm-doing, drunk. Started off with a bottle of some Amarrian wine, but there were a couple of other people there - one a Ghost Festival pilot by the name of Shinara, and the other... eh, I don't remember who he was. So, he got me started on the harder stuff, and Shinara pulled out some kind of home-brewed stuff.


You would think that I would know better than to drink a home-brewed drink offered to me by an outlaw, wouldn't you? But I had some of that stuff, and probably some of the other drinks.

Urgh. Next day was one big hangover, especially because I apparently still had to much alcohol in my blood to safely clone jump.







Couple of days later - last Saturday, I believe - I wandered into the Gate and found Reimei there. He said he had lapsed into a coma after his lady-friend put him through whatever hoops, and someone had to shove some adapted Sansha tech into his head to pull him out of it. I told him if he was Amarrian, they would be making him a saint for surviving so many deadly circumstances.

He disagreed. I didn't argue.







And then... well, I don't apply the phrase "epic shitstorm" to a lot. The old Suk breakup, a couple of things I've said on the IGS... unfortunately, what I told Ciarente Roth now firmly falls under that category. Ciarente finally made her decision as to a new corp - Re-Awakened Technologies, a member of the Electus Matari alliance. What this meant is that when I stepped back into the gate, she showed up a KOS - a fact that she took none to well when I told her, even though I warned her that what I was going to tell her was "not a pretty truth" and explained to her that the political labeling of one group has no bearing on me. I just don't think she was used to hearing her name attached to the phrase "Kill On Sight" - and with good reason to; I doubt she has ever done anything that would make anyone want to kill her directly.

*A tired sigh can be heard in the background.* So, I sent her a message by mail later on, explaining my position yet again. I hope she understands - it was indeed pleasant to be able to speak to her and discuss our roles, or purposes, our objectives.

To lose her to politics would make me sick.

Launch

We launched her.

We were coming back from a patrol along the Deliverance corridor, and were heading up towards her location. I asked the fleet to pause a moment so I could 'collect something' from the station. They didn't know I could fly her yet, much less had the modules onboard already.

So I docked up, and had my pod moved over... the crew were warned in advance, so I didn't have to wait for them. Everything was ready the moment the connections to the pod were secured.

Undocking was a bit longer than usual - this being my first attempt, I didn't want to accelerate to quickly and risk plowing into one of the docking forcefields...

also, I was listening to to the docking crew communications channels this time. Usually I just let the computer figure out what they are saying and send it up along the channels to my pod... but this time I was there.

"In Justice Bound, this is Station Docking. Approach docking path 1-3 and standbye."

"Roger." 1-3 was the largest docking port on the station, enough to hold four battleships side-by-side... or one of me.

"In Justice Bound, Station Docking. You may depart at will. Your window is three-zero seconds and counting..."

"On my way." RADAR was telling me I was scooting down the docking port approach tunnel now, but camera drones were still inside.

"Station Docking, this is In Justice Bound. I am clear. Out."

And there she was... nearly two miles of dream come true. Months of work, come down to this.

I gave my fighters some target work - one of my fleet members, in a drake. They barely scratched his shields - have to work on getting more fighters out at a time - and he lobbed a few missiles back, giving one of the fightes a bit of armor damage. Much work needs to be done yet...

Then it was back into the station, pod back into the HIMS Eliminator, and back to patrol. Got a hostile Pilgrim and an industrial before the night was out.

Egger Fads

I remember seeing this article in the Scope about Fads within the capsuleer community - a certain kind of Gallente fashion, a certain collectible vehicle produced by some obscure Caldari corporation, and all manner of Amarr and Minmatar religious objects...

Somehow, I don't think being brutally attacked outside ones' pod is part of one of those fads, but it certainly is a trend.

First their was Reimei's friends - somebody with a Master's Degree in torture was taking them down one-by-one. (Come to think of it, I haven't seen him, or Amaterasu lately. I wonder if they moved their base of operations out of Goinard at last?)

Then it was Math're getting himself in by what was all reports an epic brawl, which nearly turned into a gunfight.

And tonight, I met Ciarente Roth in the Gate - and she had been attacked as well, by someone who managed to take out her entire security detail no less.

I had a sneaking suspicion about her TacChief, Fisk, the last time I saw him - he had a stammer that he couldn't have had in bootcamp, so I made a wild guess while talking to Ciarente and was right - he'd done something to his backed-up softscan clone. It didn't work well, and when he got up after being killed...



Yet somehow, that seems distant. Because in less than 12 hours, In Justice Bound will be launched. Five months of preparation, of crew-finding, of mineral hauling, of pouring through skillbooks, is about to come down to one tremendous launch.

I hope her home system won't be to hot tomorrow. Would be kind of awkward if I got 'station-camped' in something of her size.

Crawling toward completion

Well... it's been nearly a month since I have last been here, and, amazingly enough, I have not seen a probing interface to often.

Instead, I've been spending hours and hours preparing the In Justice Bound. Been working on that little project for months, and... three more days, she'll be ready.

*A sigh can be heard in the background.*

The secrecy needed in the production of In Justice Bound and her compatriots is becoming tiresome - months of work with nothing to show for it, literally billions of ISK seemingly being dropped into a black hole, and having to run roundabout through middlemen to procure equipment for her. I've even been loathe to talk about it here, lest someone manage to break into the database.

I've also been away from some of the more lively sections of New Eden longer than I'd like to be - odd it may sound, but I'm becoming oddly attached to places like The Last Gate and Tash-Murkon Prime, and the strange collections of people who collect around such places.

Three more days...

Probes, POSes, and fashion contests.

Got stuck in our main base in the unknown regions again - only for a few days through.

Well, I suppose stuck isn't the right word. I could get out, but I wasn't.

Long story short: Someone else in here needs to get some skill with probing. Otherwise, I keep being pulled in to take over as a backup prober. Three days of probing, probing, probing. If I don't see a probe inteface for the next month, I will be very happy. Odds say I will see one, though.


Anyhow, got dumped out into somewhere in Essence, and saw a familiar face - the Gallente just love their fashion contests, and one Carlani Hudson, whom I had met in the Gate, had apparently won this year's capsuleer category of 'Miss Federation.' Well, being out of unknown space made me want to speak to someone in person again, so I drifted over to the Gate, and guess who was in there - yup, Miss Federation. Good thing I had seen her name on that billboard in Essence, or I wouldn't have known what her name was.

Anyhow, she had a friend with her - one Morwen Lagann. That is important because I accidentally let slip that I had been in 'dub-space' (as she calls it) and Morwen immediatly became quite talkative. She's more into the research side of dub-space, Sleeper systems and all that. Probably is annoyed we can't find less destructive ways to blow the things up. Of course, when I went and checked which corperation she was registered under, she turned out to be one of Soter's bunch.

Speaking of which, I should have asked her where he is. Haven't seen him in ages, and she said her corp has just been doing short hops into dub-space, so it's not like he could be stuck without connection or anything.



Oh, and I'm officially a 'POS adviser' for one of the other corps in the alliance. Hmm.

6/17

Finally got back from some God-forsaken unknown system. It feels good to be back in the middle of things - even if only because someone has decided that we look like soft targets and need to be attacked.
So, it's straight from Sleepers to rather more familiar targets - capsuleers, that is.

Anyhow, being back has also given me the opportunity to get back in the flow with some of the more friendly podders.
In short, I grabbed an Interbus ride out to The Last Gate. Why I find myself drawn to that place I do not know - certainly, if some of those Imperial Academy officials could see me in there, they would loose it.

But, it does draw interesting people. That girl Amaterasu was there - she's really a woman, but practically acts like a pre-teen. Poor girl has been shaken up a lot - according to some of the other patrons, she was a slave on some mining facility that was beholden to the Blooders. Like normal, the Blooders didn't give a flying fuck about the people they gripped in their filthy fingers, so she came out of that pretty traumatized - hell, that big brother type she follows around must have pulled a lot of strings to get her past the psychological evaluations for the capsule.

Anyway... when I finally get to the Gate, turns out she is there, but that big brother isn't. Opportunity loves action, they say, and they must be right - she's always to timid to talk to when he's around.

Or he's gotten himself shot, slashed, or otherwise brutalized. He seems to have a tendency to do that.

So anyhow, I start talking to her... and, oh, Lord. It didn't go well.

I offered her my assistance - something I've been meaning to do for some time. Figure I would help where I could. But she doesn't know what she wants - I guess she's become used to where she is, used to following that Reimei fellow around. Doesn't want to rock the boat, so to speak. Pity - I've heard of what she pulls when she puts her mind to it, and THAT... well, if she could do it all the time there would be people begging to have her by their sides.

Unfortunately, she didn't know. Those were her exact words - "I don't know." The fact I'm Amarrian probably didn't help either - she's had to many bad experiences. Taking help from an Amarrian probably just doesn't make sense to her. I've seen it before - some of the slaves I've released, when it occurs to them they are actually free, just break down. They've been lead around in chains for so long, the chains have worked their way into their brains.

Maybe... maybe Amaterasu will listen. I damn well hope she does - every Minmatar I... we can help break free from their fears and hatreds is probably another thousand, maybe hundred thousand lives, Amarr or Minmatar, that will stay living. That's damn worth it.

W-space.

Well, hell.

Wormhole space is the best and worst of known space poured into a vat, melted down, mixed up, and poured into the mold of insanity.

Let’s start with the good: Resources. Since we’ve set up our latest control tower configuration, we’ve been hauling out more resources – gas, minerals, and some electronics components I can’t recognize for my life. My corpmate is going nuts over them, though.

Then there’s the bad side. Let’s start with those aar-svik Sleepers. Aside from aggressively responding to the presence of our ships in special locales such as asteroid belts and gas clouds, I have recently begun noting a tendency of sleepers to actually locate vessels floating in deadspace or around planets or moons and attack said vessels. I don’t know whether they do this the way we do – that is, by launching probes to look for our power emissions – or with some exotic new process (given what else I’ve been pulling out of Sleeper drone wreckage, I wouldn’t be surprised). Bunch of their cruiser-sized craft dropped in on me as I was writing the last log. Not really a major threat, but my shields collapsing in under four seconds was enough to grab my attention.

What I do know is that the Sleepers are in some ways worse then the more aggressive capsuleer organizations. Smarter, too.

Then there’s the loneliness. I’m not going to lie – being out here, somewhere probably beyond the galactic limits, your feel awful disconnected from everyone else. All the stuff on the news feeds, all the stuff in the common discussion channels… it seems so distant.

Unlike some of the others, I am not particularly interested in the Sleepers’ nature – they are just another threat in a universe of terrorists, warmongers, and pirates of every stripe. No, I’m not like Julianus Soter, that former shield-carrier of the Federation. He’s turned his sights fully on uncovering every secret of the Sleepers, and seems to come up with a new theory about them – and the Seylinn incident. He’s digging up pretty interesting stuff – and pulling together an interesting bunch of people around him – but that stuff just isn’t my calling.

Oh well. Should be back in ‘known’ space soon.

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Why, indeed. I don’t believe I can really answer the full extent of that question – why do we exist in the universe, and all that – so I’ll settle for answering why I am writing this.

I’m writing it because I am afraid.

For a while there, I was slipping into the aura of invincibility. I was a podder, an angel of God, invincible to mortal weapons.

And then the shit hit the fan in a whole bunch of places. First, there was an article on the IGS about some guy who was killed as he was resurrecting following a podding – and a computer virus somehow destroyed his remaining backup clones.

That was the end of that poor fool.

Then there’s that Caldari Merc – Reimei something-or-other. Every few days, he seems to manage to find a new way to get himself practically killed outside of the pod. One day, he ended up with a beam through his chest, just yesterday he had managed to get himself in a fight with someone, or something, that nearly ripped a rib straight out of him.

Seeing someone’s rib sticking out of their chest – while they are alive, no less – is a dramatic lesson. It suddenly occurred to me again that I was still mortal – hard to kill, yes, but still mortal. And suddenly I was afraid.

Listen to that – a seasoned capsuleer, veteran of hundreds of fights, with the blood of likely millions on my hands, afraid of death. It seems… incorrect, somehow.

But the fact remains. So, I started these personal logs, on the basis that if I ever did manage to get myself perma-killed, my trusted others would be able to look in here and see what I had been up to.

Shit. Sleepers are back again.

All about Esna

Accessing Data profile...

Name: Esna Millehiros Pitoojee
Race: Amarr (True Amarr)
Known relatives:
Father – Evada Pitoojee (now minor holder, planetside)
Mother – Athrin Pitoojee (minor holder, planetside)

Height: 74 in. / 188 cm
Weight: 137 pounds
Age: Twenty-Six (since first birth; actual clone age varies)
Eye color: Yellow
Hair color: Black

Physical description: Tall and narrow-framed with a receding hairline. Lacks any major visible body modifications aside from capsule implants, and often wears robes which cover those.
In terms of clothing, he favors tighter, longer robes, and often wears a simple, undecorated shirt and pants when involved in tasks that robes would hamper.

Psychoanalysis:
Generally prefers to be a bystander than to become entangled in most situations. When he does act, prefers to formulate a plan before engaging. This does not mean he lacks a solid position; rather, he prefers to be sure of his position. When he does move, he does so with speed and assuredness.

- Dr. Ibinus Saaldus, Imperial War Academy

I worry that he will be rejected by many he might work with. Although he does not rush into a situation, preferring to poke about instead and investigate it, he can sometimes be tactless and disrespectful in his probings. Needs to learn that not everyone's buisness is his, much as he likes to help.

- Prof. Ashana Demeta, Imperial War Academy

Cautious.
- Dr. Pilliard Misefus, CONCORD Capsuleer registration division



This is likely one of the only OOC posts I will do. The background information for Esna is deliberately written for anyone viewing this blog's use, and should be considered the only 'openly known' information in any post.

I will be periodically updating the profile as I continue to develop Esna's character... and as I get more time to write it.